Anko's Dango Adventures
by Saudastic
Summary: Anko is constantly annoyed by her neighbors, having to deal with Kakashi and the mysterious new man in the house beside hers. And things just get worse after she's talked into going on a date. KakaAnko AU, rated T for Language.
1. Dango Dreams and Creepy Neighbors

Astonished by the sight before me, I exclaimed in delight. I was standing before a kiosk full of freshly prepared dango, my all-time favorite food. A wide variety of the dish was available, including Hanami dango, dango with Anko paste, Chadango, sesame-seeded Goma dango, and, one of my favorites, syrup-coated Mitarashi dango. I was so focused on the delicacies before me that I almost missed a figure beside me.

The figure was handing me a coupon…..a lifetime supply of dango?! My gaze zeroed in on the ticket as I cried out in bliss and lunged forward, arms outstretched to snatch the slip of paper…but it morphed into a white snake with glinting red eyes. Blinking in surprise, I fell back and scrambled away. In my haste, I backed into a writhing mass of snakes. My skin crawled as I staggered away, turning to run back to my dango. Unfortunately, my precious dumplings were gone. In their place was a giant white snake slinking towards me, jaws opened wide. I tried to run, but some of those small reptilian bastards had wrapped themselves around my ankles. I screamed in vain as the behemoth snapped its jaws together, clamping its fangs around my torso.

I jolted awake in my bed. Startled, my heart raced as I realized it was just a nightmare. I slumped back into my pillows and sleepily eyed my alarm clock. Damn, it was nine'o clock in the morning already? I usually wake up much earlier, around six or seven. It actually sucks, because I wake up naturally at the crack of dawn. Exhausted but painfully unable to fall back to sleep, I usually lie in bed for a good half hour before finally groaning and rolling out of my covers. Now I finally do sleep in and BAM, I have a nightmare.

Wait….It's nine am…I have work….DAMN.

I was about to fabricate some bullshit excuse when a blissful epiphany popped into my head.

"It's Saturday," I blurt out, the realization bringing a grin to my face. Thank god for having the weekends off.

I hauled myself out of my haphazardly messy bed and onto my equally messy floor. Papers of varying relevance to my job found themselves decorating my hardwood flooring. Sighing, I slouched to the bathroom, carefully picking my feet through the clutter as I went.

_Today, I will be a lazy slob _I decided internally. As if I'm not like that everyday. Still, my definition of a slob justified my excessive snacking and sporting of sweatpantsthat I was so fond of doing on Saturdays. Looking pretty for no apparent reason took too much effort.

I clipped my short, purple hair into a spiky-looking bun and slid into my bum clothes: a sports bra, v-neck, and my favorite pair of sweats. Groaning, I realized that I hadn't checked my mail in a while. Guess I should go do that. I slipped on a pair of slides and trudged outside.

I was living in a suburb on the fringes of Boston. It was particularly overcast today; the chilly air bit at my bare arms. I shivered lightly as goosebumps rose on my limbs. Why didn't I bring a jacket? More importantly, why did I choose such a miserable place to live? I honestly had no clue.

Okay, so I'm obviously lying. I knew exactly hoe I ended up here. See, I had been sick of my tiny home town in Japan. I had wanted to see the world! (I know, so original right?) I did remarkably well in school, both in athletics and academics. So well that a popular university in the states had taken notice of me. Before I knew it, I had moved to a dorm at Boston University after receiving a full tuition scholarship. And now, four years later, I found myself stuck in another boring, old town. Albeit, this is one is a bit larger.

My neighborhood is okay, I guess. Some new neighbor had just moved into the house to the right of mine. I haven't welcomed him anything. Not that I don't like him, I'm just not overly friendly. And he gives me the creeps. I mean, this guy has been here for a week and he's already set up his yard decorations. Not just any yard decorations. Garden gnomes. The creepiest fucking things you could place in your front yard, EVER. I mean seriously. When I see garden gnomes, I see fat old white men with beards, smiling to set up a cover because they're actually a covert, albeit more colorful, faction of the KKK. I mean, JUST LOOK AT THEM. They're so fucking creepy, with their fat faces and their suspiciously pointed hats. And to have just moved in and already start decorating the garden? This neighbor seems shady to me…..as if he's trying very hard to appear normal…It gives me a bad fee-

"Anko-chan!" I stiffened at that voice. Speaking of neighbors, it seemed that the one living to the left of my house was asking for a fist to his face.

He was about three years my senior. Surprisingly, our backgrounds were similar. Like me, he had been raised in Japan and moved to the US for college. Unlike me, he still clung to our shared culture with a disturbing tenacity. His constant use of honorifics with me was the most annoying example of his obsession. And so, he shamelessly attached a chan here, or a san there. After realizing that it bothered me, he began to use them even more often. Goddamn him.

"Hatake. What do you want?" I grumbled crankily with a glare. What bothered me most about him was his habit of spontaneously appearing beside me the moment I walked outside. Was he stalking me? And how come I never hear him arrive?

"Oh nothing, I just came by to see your lovely, smiling face!" My glare grew from morose to murderous. A smile was the last thing on my face.

"I have a question, Hatake." I growled.

"I'd rather you call me Kakashi-_san _," he insisted cheerily.

"Kakashi." I grunted, blatantly disregarding the honorific. "Why in god's name do you wear that mask all the time?"

"Don't you mean why in _Kami's_ name?" He countered evasively.

"I don't practice the Shinto religion, Hatake!"

"Kakashi-san," He corrected.

"WHATEVER, JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION!"

"Well, it's an important secret…" He murmured dourly. "Lean in closer so I can tell you."

Curious, I brought my face closer to his. "I'm warning you now, Hatake, if you even try to kiss me-"

"Oh, don't worry Anko-chan!" Kakashi interrupted. "Anyways," He lowered his voice to a serious whisper. "If I were to reveal my face, then I would be recruited by a modeling agency in a matter of seconds. And then, I wouldn't be able to see my lovely, sweet bean neighbor's smiling fa-"

My fist slammed into his face before he could finish his lame explanation.

"Ouch," he whimpered as he rubbed his cheek, now a few feet away from me. " You really have a short fuse, don't you Anko-chan?"

"Don't call me chan!" I snapped angrily.

"Fine then, Anko-san." He continued, unfazed.

"Not that either!"

"Anko-kun?"

"Do I look like a boy to you?!"

"Whatever you say, Anko-sempai."

"That doesn't even make sense, I'm younger than you!"

"Okay, Anko-bo."

"DO YOU WANT TO DIE KAKASHI?!"

Whatever, Anko-sam-"

"HOW ABOUT," I shouted, effectively cutting him off. " NO HONORIFICS!"

"Hm," Kakashi looked thoughtful for a moment. " How about this? I'll stop using honorifics if you go out to dinner with me."

"How about you jump off a cliff?" I retorted sourly.

"I know this great, authentic Japanese place," he continued flippantly. "They are said to serve a variety of delicious Japanese food…..even dango…"

I gulped, my attention now focused on the white-haired man's words…How did he know my weakness for the sweet dumplings? That's it. He must be stalking me.

"D-Dango?" I stuttered eagerly. "You mean, honest-to-god dango?" Those sweet dumpling were truly my weakness. I hadn't eaten them in so long. When I had first moved to the US, I found out, much to my despair, that dango wasn't too popular in Boston.

"Mhm," Kakashi murmured. "And this restaurant serves various kinds of dango….Hanami, Mitarashi, Chadango, Goma, even your namesake…Anko." I had subconsciously began to drool at the mention of such delicacies. Kakashi was shamelessly manipulating me via food. Goddamn him.

"Anyways," He said. " It would be such a shame to eat so much delicious food without a friend to share the experience with." Kakashi sighed theatrically. "Oh, what should I do?"

I gritted my teeth, torn between Kakashi and dango…..

"Swing by around 8 tonight." I ordered briskly, quickly regaining my composure.

"Ah, I knew that you'd come around, Anko-chan!"

"I thought that we had agreed on no honorifics?"

"I haven't taken you out yet, now have I?"

I shot him one last glare before storming off to my mailbox.

"Whatever. Now, if you will excuse me, I have some mail to carry in." I heard Kakashi chuckle and swung around to chew out the bastard.

However, he was gone. The spot he'd just occupied was now vacant. I sighed. He can be so creepy sometimes, with his mask and his silent entrances and exits and his uncanny knowledge of my culinary preferences…..I shook my head angrily to clear my head. Now is not the time to think about him. I had mail to carry.

I pried the mailbox open, which took a good five minutes. As I had expected, it was stuffed to the edges with junk mail and letters. I groaned and began to yank the slips of paper out, one by one. Once my arms were full and my mailbox empty, I turned and trudged to my house.

However, I felt the unsettling sensation of someone's eyes burning into my back. I glared at the creepy-gnome-neighbor's house and, sure enough, caught the flicker of a curtain in the window. I stared at the house for a minute or two, before opening my door and entering my house. What a creepy neighbor….that guy gives me a bad feeling.


	2. Dango with a Delinquent

**AN: Sorry I haven't been on lately guys. I just fell out of the loop and got busy and yeah….I'm sorry. But here, have an update! Hope you like c: ***

**II. Dango with a Delinquent**

Six chimes from my clock echoed throughout the empty expanse of my house. I was lounging on the couch, watching some animal planet special on reptiles when the shrill bells, signaling the arrival of 6pm, assailed my ears. I groaned in annoyance. Time to get ready for this dumb ass date.

"Goddamn Hatake and his honorifics," I grumbled bitterly. The prospect of dango and Kakashi's promise to end his usage of all those bothersome -chans and -sans were the only things motivating me as I stomped into the shower. I angrily scrubbed my body raw as I considered this turn of events.

_All I wanted was to spend a day doing absolutely nothing, _I internally complained. _And instead, I get bargained into going out with this annoyance of a neighbor_. I sighed and turned off the water. _At least I'm getting some dango out of this._

I brushed out my tangled mop of hair and tamed it with a blow dryer. When it ended up the same spiky, incorrigible mess as before, I sighed in resignation and pinned it into my usual bun.

"Now a dress…" I mumbled, eyeing my closet. My wardrobe consisted of t-shirts, jeans, and the occasional polo for business formalities. A dress was nowhere to be found. Refusing to accept defeat, I stubbornly dug through the tangled forest of hangers until I came across a long-forgotten outfit. The dress I had worn for college graduation last year. Perfect.

I slid into the plain, black dress and examined myself in the mirror. The dress had a semi-fitted bodice that flowed into an elegant skirt. The fabric ended just above the knee, an ideal length. I marveled at the simple dress, It's plainness was just what I wanted. Not too ostentatious, yet not too homely either. Just right.

I slid on my only heels and began to apply subtle make-up_. I hope Kakashi isn't too early,_ I worried. _I might not have enough time left to get ready….._

* * *

"Goddamn Hatake!" I cried in frustration. I was pacing with my arms crossed, covering the entire surface area of my house for the fifth time. That damn neighbor was late.

I glanced at the clock and my anger was renewed when I saw that it was ten past eight. WHERE WAS HE?! He'd been so eager to take me out, and now he stands me up?! I huffed angrily when a knock at the door interrupted my train of thought. Racing to door, I shoved it open with a glare. Kakashi stood there, unfazed as ever, in a black button up shirt and jeans. He still was sporting his mask. Of course.

"You're late," I stated coldly.

"You said _around_ eight, not _at _eight," he countered pointedly.

"Whatever," I growled, snatching my purse and coat. "Let's go." I stomped out the door and to his car, my heels clacking angrily against the asphalt.

"You're wearing heels," He commented when he caught up, sounding pleasantly surprised.

"And you're wearing a mask," I snapped venomously. "Any other obvious details that you'd like to point out?" He just chuckled at me. Why does nothing ever bother him?!

* * *

"We're going to have to park a few blocks away," he explained as he pulled his car into a parking garage. "Saturday nights tend to be busy around here. Can you handle the walk?" He glanced at my heels, which were four inches and uncomfortable.

"I'll be fine," I grumbled. Why did this guy want to take me out again? All I do is snap and yell and growl at him.

"What's gotten you looking so pensive?" He asked curiously, interrupting my internal inquiry. He'd already parked and was leaning uncomfortable close to me, his head tilted inquisitively.

"U-uh, nothing," I sputtered, a faint blush spreading across my face. His nearness bothered me, leading me to scoot awkwardly away.

"Well then, we're off." He said, still completely unfazed. He quickly popped open his car door, slid out, and noiselessly glided to my side of the car. Before I could even unbuckle my seatbelt, he had opened my door and extended his hand cordially.

"Thanks," I muttered, my eyes averted to the dash as I accepted his hand and allowed him to help my out of the car. We exited the parking garage and continued onto the grimy Boston sidewalk.

"How many blocks til we get to the dango shop?" I inquired, my stomach painfully empty. I had eaten a small lunch because I forgot to buy groceries on Thursday and I had been too lazy and poor to eat out.

"Oh, about thirteen or so," he said nonchalantly.

"WHAT." I could feel the anger bubbling in my famished gut. "Why didn't you park in a garage that was closer?!"

"I use this parking garage every day for work," Kakashi explained airily. "I have a discount arranged with the owner."

"You cheap jerk!"

"Hey, a man's gotta pay bills," he objected sheepishly. I sighed and looked at the street we were on.

"Hey, hold on," I began, glancing around the cityscape. "I know a shortcut from here!" I grabbed Kakashi's hand and dragged him along. "Yeah, I'm sure of it. If we just cut through this alley-"

"I don't think this is a good idea, Anko-"

"No, I'm sure of it!" I interrupted stubbornly, tugging him into the dim alleyway. I could barely discern what was before me as the light dimmed and shadows clouded my vision. I ran into a piece of trash and stumbled. Hastily, I regained my balance and forged on. We were halfway through when I tripped once more, toppling onto the unyielding cement.

At first, I thought it was an accident. But when I noticed shadowy figures surround Kakashi and I, I realized it was intended.

"Just give us your wallet and the lady won't get hurt." I heard a greasy voice demand. A metallic click behind my head confirmed the presence of a gun. One of the thugs prodded my neck with it roughly. I gritted my teeth and willed myself not to utter a word.

I could barely discern Kakashi standing above me, surveying each assailant calmly. He straightened up a bit and disappeared. He was too fast for my eyes to see in the dark. I heard a surprised gasp there, a squeal of shock there. In the breath of a second, Kakashi had left two of the thugs unconscious, including the armed one behind me. The other assailants barely had time to react before he knocked them out with a quick blow to the head. Within a brief moment, the whole affair had been settled. The thugs laid unconscious on the ground, now completely harmless.

I was still in shock when Kakashi leaned down and picked me up bridal style. I struggled, unwilling to be treated like a child, but he calmed me by saying, "Careful. You could've twisted your ankle." His voice had a tone so gentle, it caught me off guard. I immediately stopped squirming at his benevolent words and relaxed into his embrace.

"I'm fine," I muttered with a pout. Although I didn't like it too much, I've got to admit Kakashi's body was hot. Like, temperature wise. With his arms wrapped around me and my head resting on his heart, I was enveloped in a comforting warmth, which I wasn't exactly opposed to. However, I 'm not used to relying on others and I'm sure as hell not about to start now. "Put me down." I demanded obstinately.

"Are you sure you can walk?" he asked, concern lacing his words.

"Yes, yes, I'm fine. Now put me down." Kakashi sighed and carefully placed me back onto my feet. "Now let's go get some dango before I starve!"

* * *

"So how did you come to be so good at fighting?" I asked him, a plate of dango between us. The restaurant was indeed authentic Japanese, having made dango that tasted as if they were shipped in straight from Japan.

"Well, my Japanese background isn't as similar to your as I'd like to say," Kakashi replied cryptically.

"Aww, c'mon. You've gotta tell me more than that," I pleaded, curiosity getting the better of me.

"I'll elaborate…." He began.

"Yes?"

"If you go on a second date with me," He bargained slyly.

"Hmph." I huffed. "Fine, I'll go. Now tell me."

"Well, my mother died young and my father killed himself soon after, when I was just a boy."

"Geez, that's rough," I remarked brashly.

"Yep. So I was on the streets for a while. I got good at fist fighting and evasion techniques." Kakashi took a shot of sake before continuing. He didn't even lower his mask, which left me confounded.

"I learned how to fight by mimicking others, and then adding my own twist to their moves. They began to call my Copycat Hatake. Soon enough, child services began tailing me once the rumors of the white-haired demon child reached them. So I adopted this mask," He gestured to the cloth covering the lower half of his face. "and got very good at covering up my tracks."

"So that explains why I never hear you arrive or leave…" I said.

"Yes. I suppose you could say that old habits die hard," He chuckled. "Anyways, they finally got me into custody when I was seventeen."

"How did they catch you?" I asked as I bit into a sweet dumpling.

"They figured out my weakness…." Kakashi trailed off vaguely.

"Which is?" I pushed.

"I like a certain series of novels…" He began. "And they left one near a street corner I often passed through…and well…I couldn't resist."

"Which book series?"

Kakashi's face flushed scarlet in embarrassment. Now I _needed _to know.

"If you tell me, I'll plan our third date." I offered with a smirk. Kakashi regarded me carefully, then sighed.

"The Icha Icha series."

"SERIOUSLY?!" I exclaimed in a fit of laughter. The restaurant around us grew silent as I cracked up obnoxiously. "I thought I had you pinned, Kakashi!" I guffawed. "But, damn, you never cease to amaze me!" My hands clutched my stomach and tears welled up in my eyes as I imagined Kakashi getting off to own of those perverted novels. Finally, after my laughter had died down, I realized something.

"If you were on the streets for most of your life," I began. "Then how'd you get into Boston University."

"Ah, that's easy," Kakashi replied, obviously relieved by the shift in conversation. "I was sharp as a kid and taught myself a lot from stolen books. I taught myself how to read."

"You must've been smart back then. What happened?" I teased.

"Ha ha, funny." Kakashi said sarcastically.

"But you still haven't told me how you ended up at BU?"

"Well, I was seventeen when they finally caught me. Too old for foster care, adoption, or even schooling. So they decided to ship me off to some college tutor program for troubled kids. And BU happened to be hosting one of those programs the year I was caught. All of my expenses were taken care of by social services." Kakashi chuckled. "Honestly, I think it's because they wanted a troublesome kid like me out of the country."

"I wouldn't be surprised." I replied bluntly. "You seemed to be quite the handful."

"Ah, but I still am," He countered slyly. I smirked at his smooth reply. _You know_, I thought to myself. _He's not too bad after all._


End file.
